Being my best FOR the World!

Watched this video and the last line hit me hard in the most wonderful way. When someone else puts what you have been trying to say into the perfect simple wording (and then you write a blog post expanding it from its simple beauty)

“I learnt there is a difference between being the best in the world and being the best FOR the world.” Clint Pulver

I have limited ability due to my health conditions. I have to be careful where and how I do my daily life so I have spoons for what matters most. I went through a long time of depression coming to terms with my “new life”. What does life look like if I am never able to work again if my plans to make money and save the world is not going to be possible?

I had to shift my question from how can I be great (so I can help the world) to how can I be MY greatest from WHERE I am at. I had to accept where I was first. I de-stressed my life because that is what I needed medically and emotionally.

I had to find my own definitions of health and success cause societies did not and still does not work for me. A load of laundry is often my Everest for the day, I celebrate my attempt at life. I surrendered to my circumstances and magic happened, slowly so that I would start to recognize slow magic too.

I let go of my old brain and how it functioned. I had to release my idea of all the future things I was going to learn to save the world. I could not learn it all anymore and probably never really could (it was a lot of stuff to know).

I had me, my current knowledge, my limited funds and energy. It forced me (cause I needed to be forced for this particular lesson) to slow down, listen to my body and inner self. I still have a calling and now it is deafening (literally).

I was so clueless before that my body had to give me brain tumors on my hearing nerve so I would get that I had not been listening. Then when I did not truly get the message it gave me a brand new brain tumor on my crown chakra. “You are not listening to your higher power/calling)” A message coded for me.

I mourned (and sometimes continue to) what, felt like it, was taken from my life. My memory, some of my intelligence, my energy where all diminished. My pain was increased and chronic.

Society says that we should be inspired by those who do not give up, those that heal. We are inspired by those that do not listen to the doctors and instead lean how to walk again. Those stories do not tell us about all the thousands of people who are determined to walk again, work SO hard at it everyday and still are never able to walk again. They do not tell us about the people who accept their new life with grace (or fucking anger) and wake up each morning to continue their new life as best they can. A lot of inspirational stuff, especially disability inspired stuff (made for the healthy) is a slap in the face.

Once I accepted that I am not supposed to physically heal, but accept my current limitation, the REAL healing started. My body did not heal, my brain did not heal but my spirit has.

I make my own rules of success I find gratitude and beauty in the simple life I am living. I feel really lucky to be me. I see the humour my higher guides (whoever or whatever they are) have and that the only way to reach me was to give me no choice.

There has been so much learning and beauty in my journey, things I can not express into words at the moment, maybe never will be able to. They are my learnings anyways, everyone's are unique.

I am remixing the large amount of knowledge already in my head, owning my limitations and using my unique perspective to be my best FOR the world. I am enjoying the journey and looking forward to explaining the destination (a world of cooperation) to everyone who could benefit from this journey and hope as well.

I am EXACTLY who I am supposed to be with the experiences that I was supposed to have in order to be who I was put on this planet to be. It is my whole self that will accomplish my life and my purpose. I step more into my power everyday. I own my shit and know more about who I am everyday. I am creating a world where everyone can be their unique self and is invited to be their best FOR the world because it is its own reward.

A new world is possible one where love and cooperation thrive. We are going to create it along side and out of this existing broken capitalistic one. We are going to do it together with all of our unique talents, limitations and passions.

Do you want to be the best IN the world or the best FOR the world?